Not about the end, but the Journey......

"Your journey has molded you for the greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don’t think that you have lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. and now is right on time" -Asha Tyson

The next step in planning a trip is to see the end; that is to look and see what the end is. To set goals for yourself and to see what the end might hold. Where do I want to end this adventure?  Because if I see myself in the end at the exact same spot I started, there is really no point in starting. So where do I want to be at the end of this year?  What path am I looking at taking and where does the Lord want me to be spiritually or emotionally by the end of this adventure?  Though I may not know all the answers now, I am hoping that at the end of this I will have a closer view into what the tapestry of my life is being woven .

This trip is only temporary. It is for the 10-12 months that I am prepared to live in South Africa. Over that year, I don't know everything that will happen or all the lessons I will learn, but I do  hope and pray, that through this year I will learn how to be totally dependent on Christ alone; that my trust in him will be continually unwavering. I know he will grow me and stretch me in ways I don't even know how. I pray that he will continue to sanctify me and draw me closer to him. My goal over this next year is to totally and wholly pursue him, while serving and building relationships that will last for years. I may not know what the Lord will throw into my path, but I do know that he does, and he is already preparing me in ways that I may not be aware of. He knows what my year will look like and what will occur. Just as Proverbs says in Proverbs 27:1 "Boast not thyself of tomorrow for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth."  I push onwards focusing only on the day I wake up in. The Lord will continue to work and show me what he intends to and I know he will continue to mold me into the woman he wants me to be.  

I am one month out. ONE month!!! That small thought is exciting... frightening.... joyous... and satisfying.

I just spent my last weekend, at RESOLVED. A large conference for college age students that my church has held for the past 8 years. I was poured into by many wise teachers and preachers of the Word of God and in many ways given tools, that will be packed away in my suitcase. I fellowshipped and worshipped alongside my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and my soul is refreshed. I want to share what I learned most from this conference but that is for another blog post. ;)  This was the final Resovled conference ever, and that element was significant to me in that it added one more goodbye to the list of those I have already said, and the ones I have yet to experience in the next month. In the past month I have said goodbye to my life long pet, Cruiser, my childhood home, my first job, and my previous Bible study; it is also significant that the high school I attended, which shaped much of my life, also ended through a merger with another school.  In the next month I will be saying goodbye to my family and friends.  While I will not be returning to any of the things I have said goodbye to already, I know the goodbyes ahead of me will only be temporary.

 The Lord has been so incredible to me, and it still overwhelms me to know that the Lord is allowing this to happen. He is closing these chapters in my life, work, this conference, friends, only to open this new one with my trip. He shows his love to me daily. He saved me, died for my sins, he was crushed for me.... so that I may have this opportunity to worship him through my service to him in South Africa.... WOW! 

I don’t know the author of the quote I began this blog with, but I have found it to be representative of my experience.  The Lord has allowed everything that has happened in my life to happen and it has shaped me into who I am right now. Though I may not know where I will end up by the end of this year, I do know that the Lord is GOOD, ALL THE TIME; and he has plans for me that I may not see or know, but He is in control and I am excited to learn and grow as he reveals to me what he needs for me to see. 

Where the Lord leads......

"So pray this way: Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored,may your kingdom come may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven...." -Mathew 6: 9-10

One of the biggest questions I am asked as I prepare for my trip is Why.? Most people are concerned with any questionable motives behind my decision to go. Others are just curious to know why I would want to do something like this. The questions come from both my believing friends to people I work with and non believing coworkers Well I have dedicated this post today to answer that question why.

It isnt a super easy answer and it takes time to explain but it started when I was a little girl. Missionaries would always come to church and I loved to hear their stories, of adventures and ways that the Lord used them to do his work. I knew then, that I hoped one day the Lord would use me to do his work I read and reread biographies on Amy Carmichaell and Gladys Aylward, dreaming that maybe one day I would grow up to emulate their character. But when you're little you have some high hopes that you don't always follow through on. As I grew older I always felt that twinge but never acted upon, I pushed it away thinking I could never do that. eventually that desire to serve the Lord on the missions field slowly faded and I continued to live my life. After going through a pretty dark valley in my high school years, I thought that now I really could never be used by God. But boy was I wrong. The Lord took my life and and drastically changed it about two years ago. He saved me from continuing down a path that didn't honor him.  That summer I visited Japan, and worked with children, and something inside me changed.. I left with a thought, a small seed of a dream starting to form inside of me. I knew that I loved children, all I have ever wanted was to be a mom. But I also knew that I was single, with no upcoming relationship, and no open path to motherhood. I began to think of ways that I would be able to take advantage of being single and still be able to use my talents that the Lord has given me with children. I knew that one day  I would want to open my own orphanage but in California that isnt really an option here due to foster care and other governmental holds. And that is when my thoughts began to shift from local opportunities to other possible options across the globe.

Donovan Drew is an old family friend, and his prayer card has been on my fridge for many years. My mom mentioned what he was doing through his church and told me that I should get in touch with him. I emailed him and that got the ball rolling. I visited South Africa on a missions trip this past summer and I fell in love with the country, the people, and my heart grew in love for the orphaned children down there. I came back strong and with a passion to return. I prayed specifically before my visit and after my visit asking for the Lord to make my path clear. He answered my prayers with specific answers and began opening the door leading me to South Africa and the Muphamuzi Baby home.

Josh and Marda Mack, Grace Church missionaries, are serving down in Pretoria, South Africa. It was their church, One Hope,  that birthed the ground work for the baby home. Donovan and Heather Drew is the couple who will be overseeing the Baby home. They will be living on the premises of the home as will myself and any other interns who join us along this next year.  The path was clear and the ground work laid, I began to follow that path no matter where it took me.. I trusted that no matter what I lost or gained along the way, the Lord had a plan for me and for my life. I have chosen to follow this path which has been clearly shown to me to be of the Lord, and have not once over this past year of saving and toiling regretted that decision in the slightest.

The Lord has brought me through many trials and joy through this past year. All showing me how lean on him and only him for everything.He gave me a contentment that surpassed anything that I could ever attain on my own. He showed me how to be strong. He showed me that no matter what, He will always be able to use you. Even if it isn't on the field. I have had many witnessing opportunities opened to me with coworkers because of my plans, and the Lord has used me to share the gospel with them and I thank Him every day for that chance to shine.  I only pray that, the Lord will be able to use me to glorify his name and  honor him in everything that I do. He gets all the glory for everything that has  happened over this past year. Nothing that has occurred has been in my power or by my power.

There have been many verses the Lord has used to ease my soul or encourage me, but this one has been always near to my heart...

" Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again Rejoice!. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything. but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus..." -Phil. 3:4-7



To God be the glory forevery and ever AMEN..